Aliens are real

A good friend of mine once told me that when children become teenagers the aliens take over.  Every once in a while you will see a glimpse of the boy you raised, but mostly you will see someone you do not recognize.  Last night I was reminded of this.

Now, I am not one to fight.  Last night was an exception.  I argued myself to tears with my teenager.  After the dust settled guilt took over. 

Had I overreacted?

Was there a better way of handling the situation?

Will I be able to follow through with the threats I laid out?

Does he still like me?

Will this affect our relationship forever?

I do not know the answers to all of the questions, but I do know I overreacted and could have handled the situation much better.  I don't want to follow through with the threats.  They were dumb threats.  Ridiculous reactionary threats. I am not even going to jot them down here because they were too embarrassing to mull over.  

Fact is parents make mistakes.  Just like every other part of our lives, we don't always get it right.  I don't count my mistakes.  Mostly because I cannot count that high.  The other reason is it would ruin the image of how AWESOMELY amazing I am.  

I am fairly certain we can all reach back and remember a regret or two or twenty.  We are building a relationship with our children.  They are changing, growing, developing, and evolving.  So, are we.  We were not born parents.  We became one.  There was no training.  Everyone does it differently.  What works for you may not work for me.  What does work is acknowledging when you made a mistake.  I apologize to my kids.  Not only do I apologize, but I am sincerely remorseful.  It may not seem like much, but it is important to for children to know adults are fallible. Not only does a parent need to be remorseful but also forgiving.  

Forgive your children.  Mistakes are a part of the human experience.  Without mistakes children cannot learn how to avoid them.  I have been told I am too forgiving.  I forget the things my children do once I forgive it.  Repeat offenders are not caught right away because of my lack of memory of the first three transgressions.  

One day soon my teenagers will be out of the house.  They will build their own lives.  I have a significance effect on how successful their life is.  Teaching them who you are is the best way to teach them how to be an adult.  You don't have to be perfect.  Being perfectly honest is enough.