I become annoyed with the sweet-grandmotherly woman at the store insisting my baby should sleep on her stomach. I am aggravated with the counselor insisting my son complete more classes than required to ensure he make it into a state college. I am frustrated with my neighbor who believes my kids should not play in front of my house while I cook dinner. My go to response is to say with a smile, "Okay. Thank you," and move on with my life in the same direction I was going before.
I can't stress this enough. You ARE the parent.
Many will come to you with advise. Most advise givers mean well and some do not. I have been asked on many an occasion to 'give' advise. I hate 'giving' advise. Don't misunderstand what I am saying. I love to tell people what to do. I am fantastic at being bossy. I have made a career out of it, but I do not enjoy reaching into someone's personal life and telling them how they should live it. What I do like is being asked for advise. I will give advise all stinking day if you ask for it.
I feel many times people simply want to make conversation, but instead of stopping at, 'Your children are so well behaved,' they continue on to interrogation mode. I am certain you all are familiar with interrogation mode. This is my phrase for people who begin to ask seemingly simple questions which lead to an opportunity to advise.
Here is an example:
Stranger: "Your daughter is so cute."
Me: "Oh, thank you."
Stranger: "Do you have her in preschool?"
Me: "No, we have a babysitter."
Stranger: "hmmm...My son had his daughter in preschool and his daughter could read when she was four. You should look into ABC Academy."
Me: "Okay. Thank you."
Now, as gracious and kind as I try to be, the previous dialogue runs my blood pressure through the roof. Stranger knows nothing of my child or my life. However, Stranger has no problem trying to make me feel like I am doing a poor job of parenting. It is possible I am perfectly thrilled with my babysitter, and my daughter can read. Stranger has no clue what our life is like.
Reality is strangers are not the only people in your life who will insist on pressing their own opinions onto you. Friends, family and co-workers are eager to be heard. Their are some who always seem to know way more than you about everything under the sun.
Stay positive parents. You and you alone are in charge of the relationship you are building with your children. Make each moment count. We have enough to worry about without the unsought advise of others ruining our joy.
